Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
