Nicole vs. Life
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize