Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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