I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize