White coat. Heels.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
