just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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