dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize