He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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