I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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