Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
