you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
