Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
