New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
