just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize