I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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