I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize