I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
