Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
