great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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