She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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