If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
