On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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