Whatcha textin bout Willis?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
