so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
