Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i dont even know how to be here
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
