why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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