$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ugly people sure do ruin things
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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