For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
