oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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