Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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