ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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