He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
