I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
