im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
