let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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