Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
