He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
