guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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