WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
