the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
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I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
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I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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