just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize