so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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