wanna go halves on a baby?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize