so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize