Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
