I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
