If that was your dad, he is hot
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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