Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
