im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
