Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
