so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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