im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
