on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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