I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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