I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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