OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
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Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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